Kennet Valley 100 Audax March 2019

Prudential London Ride 100 start line, August 2014. 7:00 am

‘So you’ve only ridden your bike three times since this time last year?’ the other rider stared at me in amazement. Or contempt.
‘Yep.’
‘And the longest you’ve ridden was only 30 miles?’ he asked, voice rising implausibly high.
‘Yep.’
‘And you’ve changed half the mechanical stuff on your bike, had a bike fit that changed everything about your position and haven’t ridden the bike since?’
If I’m honest, he was starting to draw attention at this point and I kind of hoped he would go away.
‘So how do you think you’re going to get through today?’
I could hear the fascination in his voice – he clearly was waiting for me to unveil the masterstroke that would allow me to complete this hugely challenging ride.
‘Well, I know I can ride 30 miles, and that probably means I can ride 50 miles. So I’ll do that and then I’ll be so far away from any possible rescue I’ll just have to keep going’
‘You’re probably going to die, you know that don’t you?’

The second time I tried to ride the ride100 (having not ridden after the same ride the previous year) I’d left starting my training to the very last minute. Then I fell down the stairs and broke a toe, and work came up with some spectacularly timed trips abroad which shot my already threadbare training schedule to bits. I did complete the ride that day, but it was spectacularly painful (I had a good cry coming down the Mall at the finish) and I never ever want to put myself through that level of pain again.

I’ve got some big rides coming up this year and I need to train for endurance with some distance rides if I’m going to make cut offs. I’ve done quite a few sportives over the last few years but never yet tried their older, cheaper cousins, the Audax.

I’d looked at riding some audaxes a good few years ago but had always been put off by some of the rules and regulations that made it seem unwelcoming – in particular they used to be very strict about mudguards being compulsory and it just wound up seeming like too much faffing. However, Barney had suggested I look at the Kennet Valley 100 audax and I decided to sign up and give it a go.

Having paid the princely sum of £8.75, if I’m honest I was expecting a few old men leaving for a ride from a shed. My first inclination that this was not an accurate prediction was when I received a detailed routesheet along with an email asking the 100km riders to make sure they didn’t arrive until after over 200 200km riders had left. I was still stunned, having been parked by efficient and organised marshals, to walk into a well heated village hall that was rammed with about 100 people, all laughing and chatting and tucking into the tea, toast, bananas and cereal bars provided by the organisers.

I quickly registered and collected my brevet card – a record of the ride with proof of completion tracked by the rider answering simple questions about key locations on the route, and picking up a stamp at the manned control points. Little polythene bags were even provided to keep the card dry and safe on the ride. Despite having had breakfast and loaded my jersey up with gels I took advantage of the facilities and loaded up on Peanut Butter toast and another banana. Obviously, it’s not a race, so I felt the extra fuel couldn’t hurt.

Unlike a sportive, the audax is unsupported and not routemarked – so I felt like a packhorse early on. There was a half way stop at a control at a tea shop, but I didn’t want to hang around so was carrying everything I needed for the whole ride.

I was riding with a waterproof (it wasn’t raining but was threatening), a complete set of spares/tools (including two inner tubes), two large bottles of water, four gels, two energy bars (oh yes, and a free banana). If nothing else I was hoping that the sacrifice of carrying this lot to the gods of cycling meant I would be mechanical breakdown free and find plenty of food and water stops.

You may notice I had also fitted a rear mudguard – it was cheap and fitted in seconds with no tools and actually did a good job of keeping my backside clean – I’m definitely going to ride with it again if it’s wet. Although there were many bikes there without any form of mudguard, I think the majority still had them; although mine was really only going to benefit me I still felt good at having made an effort.

I’d also used my tribars to rig a holder for the routesheet. I’d only decided to do this last minute as I’d assumed I’d use the .gpx file provided by the organisers to drive my Garmin. With hindsight, I’m really glad I did as the garmin only actually offered turn instructions for about half the route. The routesheet was clear and reasonably easy to read on the move, although some of the cumulative distances varied by up to two k so you had to stay on your toes. It was also much harder to decipher when you were either a) hammering down a hill at 60kmh or b) in the last 20k or so and low on blood sugars.

Most of the experienced audaxers (if that’s a word?) had cut their routesheets in half again and had them clipped to small wooden boards on the handlebars. Many of the riders had handlebar bags or saddle bags the size of small dogs – I’m not sure what they had in them.

At the start, there was a big peleton riding out at about 18kmh. I wanted to go a lot faster than that, so pushed on past the group. Eventually I caught up a couple of other individual riders and for a chunk of the first 30k I think I was actually leading the ride… Although clearly not a race I was still seriously thinking I might finish with a podium. However, behind me the big group were picking up speed all the time and at 30k I literally got swamped as I drove my legs up a hill by probably twenty riders, all chatting and having a whale of a time, many of who slowed to say hi as they went past. I’m assuming this is the hardcore audax community and they are really just enjoying a ride in the sunshine with their mates.

The halfway tea stop looked like it was doing a roaring trade as some of them tucked into cake and sandwiches.

The ride itself was brilliant – I’m pretty local to this one and I know a lot of the roads on the route, but I would never have been able to string so many of them together on my own to make a relatively traffic free, really interesting ride. There were plenty of lumpy bits and 40-50mph gusting headwinds made the first half kind of interesting; it was the sort of the day when you felt yourself slow dramatically as a gust hit you. Although we clearly benefitted on the way back, it felt like we were on more protected and sheltered roads apart from a glorious last 5k that replicated some of the back half of the Reading triathlon.

I really enjoyed a section from around 55k to 75k where I found myself riding alongside Phillip, a lovely chatty bloke who was building up a previously damaged knee. The roads selected were so quiet that we happily rode abreast for nearly all of it even though we were considerately tucking in when we heard a car coming up from behind – I firmly believe that two abreast is actually safer for cyclists and often easier for cars to pass, but there was so little traffic dropping into single file to let the cars go seemed the best way forward for everyone.

He was riding much more within himself than I was, and I was enjoying the company so much I was burying myself up the hills to avoid slowing him down too much – at 75k I had to ask him to ride on without me so I could pace myself in, and he took my ask in the spirit I’d intended it. In fact, across the day everyone was lovely and welcoming, genuinely friendly people.

Rolling into the finish (45 minutes behind ‘the winner’, although obviously it’s still not a race, dammit), everyone was still relaxed and smiling. I was pleased to find Phillip was still there, stretching (although I suspect he’d been stretching for a while). I got my brevet card signed off and although I had to race off home to resume parental duties was amazed to discover there was what I think was chilli with cheese being served along with fresh tea to all finishers.

The Kennet Valley 100 Audax – an amazing route, lovely people, fantastic food and incredible value. Even the mudguard proved its worth. If you don’t care about medals, whatever pace you are likely to ride at, check out an audax as it’s a great way of getting some miles in for whatever targets you have later in the year.